THE TALE OF AN AFRICAN BRIDE - 2

                            A Celebration of African brides           

                                                                source: unknown 
              
Chapter two 

Traditional engagement

With the assistance of his uncles and other male village elders, Zamalethu's groom informed Zamalethu's family of his wish to get married; this was a formal ceremony in and of itself. When Uche and his uncles arrived at Zamalethu's family home with a few gifts of homemade traditional beer and a small sum of money on a plate covered by another plate, her grandmother welcomed them and realized that a marriage proposal was about to be made. She stood up from the veranda where she had been lying and said, "Ah amadoda(men)." you are welcome" she said as she entered the home to let Zamalethu's parents know about their guests. The parents were ecstatic that their 24-year-old daughter, who they felt should have been married for four years, was getting married. "Okay, woman, get them in," 

Zamalethu's father exclaimed. Her mother pulled herself together, controlled her emotions, and went to the door to greet the "abogoshi (in-laws)" and say "you are welcome" as she led them in.  

 

The entire week had been heartbreaking for Uche, but after witnessing a close friend be turned down by a girl's family, he was relieved to be welcomed. The men entered the house and were welcomed by Zamalethu's father. The uncles spoke on Uche's behalf, informing Zamalethu's parents that he intended to marry their daughter and asking for her hand in marriage. "He is definitely a fine young man for our daughter and you are a noble family, but this decision is for Zamalethu's to make," he turned to his wife who was seated next to him and said, "go and call her."  Zamalethu, her friend, and her cousin sat in the house's backyard, anxiously awaiting his call to accept his proposal.

Wearing her Sunday best, which included a bright yellow cola-colored baby pink silk blouse and an African printed floral mid-ball skirt with a traditional Namibian hat, she sat down with her head resting on her hands. Her mother called her "Zamalethu," and she jumped up, opening her wide eyes and holding onto her skirt. Her mother smiled at her, causing her cousin Chichi and friend Karabo to scream with delight. Zamalethu's heart settled in peace, and her mother, equally excited, said, "Come." Having nothing more to say, Zamalethu followed her mother and sat on the floor near the door, her gaze fixed on the ground.

"Yebo ubaba (yes father)," she said softly in response to her father's question, "Do you know this young man here?" Zamalethu, still facing down with her eyes fixed on the partially tilted floor, replied, "Yes papa," which was sufficient to mean, "Yes, I will marry him." After giving her answer, Zamalethu left the house and made her way to her cousin and friend's backyard, where she jumped into their arms and they joyfully danced and sang. Following this, Zamalethu's dad, Uche and his uncles, shook hands, welcomed each other into their families, laughed, and decided on a date for the bride price negotiations. 

 Following this day, Uche was given permission to go to Zamalethu's home at will. Uche held Zamalethu's hands and murmured, "I can't wait to finally make you my wife," as they sat and watched the sun set over the river. "Me too," Zamalethu answered, her broad, cheery smile nearly hiding her plump round face.

The bride price negotiations started the following day when Uche and his uncles paid Zamalethu a visit in the role of a son-in-law. It took hours for the two families to settle on a bride price for a lovely, respectable virgin girl. After that, she became his formal wife and received three bottles of traditional beer and five cows.